WHERE HAVE I BEEN?? WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?? SICK?? ME TOO!!!

Dear Carol,
God I am so sick of being sick and tired - ALL THE FUCKING TIME!!!!

Right now I'm at home alone.  I can hardly believe it, not a sound to be heard but me on the keyboard. - Nice.

I'm still trying to get decorated.  At this rate I'll be decorating straight thru to Christmas Eve!  I'm just SO tired!  Never thought I'd say this, but I can't wait to see my doc on Wed. so he can prescribe me something else!  This Xanax is THE WORST!  I'm a raving bitch and I know I'm a raving bitch and I apologize but I can't stop it!  It's so stupid!!!

My brother was up for the weekend and got a deer.  He gave it to me.  It's ready to be picked up but that'll have to wait until tomorrow.  I don't even know how to get to the town where he and my bro in law dropped it off to be processed.  In any event, it was fun having my brother up, what time I got to spend with him.  My sister pretty much hogged him all to herself but whatever.. In actuality my brother was in his blind most of the time he was here, the blind just happened to be on their property..  My brother brought Christmas gifts for everyone, which was very nice of him.  He got me a snowman for my tree, an ornament that looks JUST LIKE my dog, for my tree and a card with money in it for me and the boys.  It was very nice and thoughtful and he didn't have to do that.

#3 son was in a talent show over the weekend.  I didn't go because I was exhausted. - Give me the Mother of the Year Award.. I'm such a bitch. - He didn't place but he had fun and got exposure and some other guys asked him to be in their band up here so he was happy.

#1 son loves his job.. Wish he'd get his license.. Sure would make life a helluva' lot easier on me.. "Lit'l one" had to be taken to the pick up/drop off and then #1 son had to go to work, then we - I took sons 2 and 3 with me - headed to my Mom's, then to my sisters, opened my brothers gifts, ate some chili, chatted for a bit and then back on the road at 9pm to pick up #1 son from work and with the roads the way they are it's a little over an hour drive.. So figure on Sunday I drove 1.5 hr. to drop "lit'l one", drove back 1.5 hr., total of 3 just for that little jaunt, then out to son's work, just over an hour, then back from son's work, so about 2.5 hours there, my Mom n' sis are on the way so no biggie and then the last trip out to pick him up, just over an hour and then back, just over an hour, so 2.5 hrs. again... Let's see.. 8 hrs. in the car yesterday.....  "Mom, why are you in such a bad mood?"  Asks #3 son.... Hhhmmm, between the shitty meds and living in my vehicle, my body being in excruciating pain and the pounding in my head... I really don't know why I'm in such a bad mood...

Anyway, so that's what's been going on here... How 'bout you?  Feeling any better?  My brother gave my Mom two vicodin which she splits in half so she's not been in as much pain.. I was glad for that.  Still pissed that my sister wouldn't fill that script she had and give some to my Mom, my Mom was never selfish with hers when she had extra..

Okay, I'm gonna' take full advantage of my quiet house and go rest..  Oh, and I saw pics of my Boise boy toy's new woman... She's pretty and I hate her and I hate him but I want him to be happy just not with her and that's pretty much the way I feel about that.
Signed your bitchy...
BFF